In honor of April Fools’ Day, we thought we’d have a little fun with sharing some of our favorite legal funnies found on the net. Enjoy!
When Is Zero Not A Zero…..?????
Associated Credit Services (ACS) filed a lawsuit against Wendy Ehringer, of Seattle, Washington, for interest due from the collection of a bounced check. Last November, Ehringer bounced a $15.02 check and received a notice from ACS requesting immediate payment plus $40 in service fees. She sent a money order to the agency for the full amount and assumed her account was settled when the money order cleared. Then, in April, Ehringer received notice from ACS that she was being sued for $0.00 owed for the bounced check and 18 cents interest because her payment arrived after the due date, in addition to $311.26 in attorney’s fees. Ehringer hired lawyer Amanda Lee to attempt to resolve the case. After numerous failed attempts to contact the company, Lee filed a countersuit, claiming ACS had no grounds to sue her client since the lawsuit stated her balance was zero and the money order had been cashed. Seattle District Court Judge Eileen Kato agreed, finding ACS’ practices violated the Consumer Protection Act and the Collection Agency Act. She awarded Ehringer $500 and attorney’s fees.
—Source: Seattle Times
Bite Me!
An unnamed plaintiff sued a Florida McDonald’s franchise and Tyson Foods claiming that he developed temporomandibular joint (TMJ) syndrome after biting into a chicken nugget. Alleging that chicken cartilage contained in the nugget caused his injury, he claimed “strict liability and negligence” and sought over $200,000 for medical bills and pain and suffering. The defense argued his condition had been pre-existing and a jury agreed, finding for both of the defendants.
—Source: The National Law Journal
Help, I’m Burning Up!!!!
Valerie Schwartz, of Vero Beach, Florida, sued Indian River County for negligence after allegedly being attacked by a swarm of fire ants that blew out of a public park restroom hand dryer. Schwartz claimed that while fending off the ants she fell on the concrete floor of the restroom, causing injury to her back, neck and knee. A jury deliberated for less than 30 minutes, determining her story was inconsistent, without enough evidence to support the claim. Lyman Reynolds, the attorney who represented the county, pointed out that hand dryers produce a lot of heat and are not a “nice, cozy environment for ants to live in,” and there have been no other reported incidents. Schwartz’s lawyer, Russell Thacker, said he does not plan to appeal the verdict, seeing more and more an “inherent cynicism among potential jurors (about personal injury lawsuits).”
—Source: The Stuart News/Port St. Lucie News
“Short People Got..No Reason…” -Randy Newman
A judge has dismissed David Flood’s suit challenging a Florida law banning “dwarf tossing”. Judge Steven D. Merryday said the law Flood claimed was unconstitutional “neither prohibits nor permits any particular conduct,” but only requires that the state liquor authority expand “rules prohibiting unspecified acts.” With no rules currently on the books, Flood has no standing to sue. Flood commented after the ruling, “I’m going to have a toss.” When the rules are enforced, Flood will sue based on his 14th Amendment rights to equal protection.
—Source: The National Law Journal
“So You Want To Be A Rock n’ Roll Star” –The Byrds
Merrily Goodell is accusing pop band manager Lou Pearlman of violating child labor laws. Goodell alleges in her complaint filed with the Florida Department of Labor that when her sons, Clay and Ryan, were members of the now-defunct band, “Take 5,” Pearlman violated multiple statutes, including prohibition from working more than 6 consecutive days, before 7:30 a.m. or after 6:00 p.m., and failing to notify parents of their children’s activities. Goodell also claims that her sons’ royalties have never been paid from the two albums produced by the band. Pearlman’s company, Trans Continental Entertainment, is under investigation by Florida authorities. He alleges that, along with two other record companies, $2 million was spent in start up costs for the band, including advances, recording costs, wardrobe, education and meals. Trans Continental Vice President Scott Bennett commented, “Merrily Goodell is obviously fishing for something, whether it’s money or whether she’s jealous or upset that her boys didn’t become rich and famous like some of the other bands Lou has worked with.” The company claims that any royalties went to offsetting expenses for development of the band. Pearlman has also been involved in litigation with other bands he has represented, such as the Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync, over contract disputes and accusations of deception.
—Source: The Associated Press
Dum Is As Dumb Does
An Escambia County, Florida, man is back behind bars after stealing more than $140,000 worth of items from local residences and selling them to pay his federal probation costs.
Michael Collins, who was on probation for bank robbery, allegedly broke into homes through unlocked doors and stole jewelry, cash, laptops and medication. Collins later sold the items at a local flea market. Police were able to identify and locate Collins through security footage shot at one of the homes. Almost $15,000 of the sold items have been recovered by local police.
Collins is now being charged with burglary, grand theft, criminal mischief and petty theft.
—Source: Pensacola News Journal
I Now Pronounce You…
A Florida man accused of domestic violence has been ordered to buy his wife some flowers, take her bowling and out to dinner, and seek counseling.
Broward County (FL) Judge John “Jay” Hurley imposed the unusual order instead of setting bond because, in his opinion, the charges were minor and the defendant had no prior arrests. According to news reports, a marital spat broke out between Joseph Bray and his wife after Bray didn’t wish his wife a happy birthday. The fight escalated into a domestic violence charge after Bray allegedly pushed his wife onto their couch and put his hand on her neck. At the hearing, the wife stated that she was not hurt or in any fear of her husband.
“It was a minor incident, in the court’s opinion,” Judge Hurley said. “The court would not normally do that if the court felt there was some violence but this is very, very minor and the court felt that that was a better resolution than other alternatives. … He’s going to stop by somewhere and he’s going to get some flowers. And then he’s going to go home, pick up his wife, get dressed, take her to Red Lobster. And then after they have Red Lobster, they’re going to go bowling.”
Judge Hurley also ordered the couple to begin marriage counseling.
—Source: SunSentinel.com (FL)
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